Rape.  It’s not a pretty word or a pretty subject.  Some would define it as the ultimate act of savagery against women.  Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted (How often does sexual assault occur?).

Clarissa and her mother were both rape victims.  This information was not revealed until much later in the story which created a gap from me.  Her mother mentioned very early in the novel what to do if a man raped her.  “If a man tries something on you, force yourself to pee.  Use your legs—that’s where your weight is.  Gouge his eyes with your fingers.  Punch his ears with your fists.  Ruin his ability to see and hear.  And then run.” Clarissa responded, “I’ll remember that” (Vida, Vendela page 47).

I thought it was odd her mother would tell her that out of nowhere with no relevance to the plot at the time.  It never occurred to me that such a small detail in the beginning of the book was one of the major reasons why Clarissa and her mother act the way they do.  Once I read that they were raped it all made sense.  She never really made a fig deal about the whole thing and it was a really big deal. 

Clarissa was a very needy character through the entire book.  She needed to be loved.  She searched for her real father and searched for her mother.  When she met other people who cared for her she became overly attached because she wanted to be loved so bad. 

In the scene when Clarissa was raped she said, “I’m being punished,  I thought, I had said daring things, gone too far with my flattery,  Up until tonight, I had rarely given compliments.  And now I overcompensated” (Vida, Vendela pg 111).  This is a perfect example of how rape victims blame themselves.  Clarissa was never sure of herself in the first place and she wanted to be loved by someone, so she always seemed vulnerable.  She thought that she did something wrong and it was her fault that she got raped.  Many rape victims act the same way Clarissa did.  Victims sometimes feel guilty because it seems like their actions caused the assault.  Shame is what prevents many survivors from speaking about what happened to them.  This results to victims thinking they are a bad person because they were raped (Guilt & Shame - of being a rape victim).

The emotional effects of rape on a person never really go away.  It will always be a part of you.  The novel didn’t go into a lot of detail about the rape of Clarissa and her mother, but it seems as though they didn’t properly handle the situation.  Clarissa never reported the crime.  Reporting rape can help victims have closure to the situation (The Trauma of Rape).  She was always running away from something; running away from her fiancé or fleeing the United States spontaneously.  The fact that Clarissa is a rape baby is a constant reminder of the assault for her mother and Clarissa.  As if she was unwanted.  Clarissa could feel that she was unwanted by her cold and rigid mother.  Clarissa said, “I was not the only child in the world who had been born of rape.  In some cultures, the mothers were disowned by their families.  But the women didn’t disown their children.  That was the difference”(Vida, Vendela pg 204).  I can’t even imagine how someone could handle knowing their mother doesn’t care or show any emotion to her daughter.

Some victims become more dependent on friends and family or you may feel compelled to withdraw from people. It is common to have low self-esteem (How to Navigate…).  Clarissa isolated herself from the world.  She wouldn’t let Pankaj touch her after she found out about her father, but she also wanted to be loved by her parents so badly.  She also had low self-esteem.  When her rapist complimented her he said, “I like the gap between you teeth” she thought to herself “I like that he had noticed” (Vida, Vendela pg 108).  He made her feel better and became vulnerable.  She thought that giving him compliments caused the rape and it was all her fault, once again coming back to her low-self esteem and guilt.

'And when I would hear people say that you can't start over, that you cannot escape the past, I would think "You can. You must"' (Vida, Vendela).  This quote from Clarissa explains a lot about who she as a person.  She completely followed in the footsteps of her mother, avoiding and running away from reality.

The novel portrayed the different ways that rape affects a victim, their spouse, children, friends - everyone has a unique set of challenges to deal with.  I think a lot of Clarissa’s mother’s problems all come back to her rape.  Eero, Richard and Pankaj all had to deal with the pain and sorrow Clarissa and her mother felt.  The fact that both of them kept running seems to lead back to the rape and isolating themselves and running from their pain.  Clarissa did realize she was acting like her mother and not dealing with her problems.  She said to herself, “What kind of woman leaves her family to live above the Arctic Circle?  Then again: What kind of woman pretends to be asleep when her fiancé tells her he loves her” (Vida, Vendela Pg 192).

In the end Clarissa and her mother’s rape got the most of them.  They acted hopeless and cold to the world.  Clarissa despised her mother for what she did to her and Clarissa did the same thin.  They both kept running and pushing people away.

 

 

 

 

Works Cited

Driscoll, Fran. "The Trauma of Rape." California ProLife Council. 18 Feb. 2009 .

"Guilt & Shame - of being a rape victim." CRISIS POINT - Specialist Psychotherapy & Counselling Service. 17 Feb. 2009 .

"How often does sexual assault occur? | RAINN | Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network." RAINN | Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network | RAINN: The nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization.One of “America’s 100 Best Charities" —Worth magazine. 18 Feb. 2009 .

"How to Navigate the Remaining Stages of Rape Recovery (Depression, Fear, Retriggering, Despair, Sexual Dysfunction) | eHow.com." E-How. 17 Feb. 2009 .

Vida, Vendela. Let the Northern Lights Erase Your Name: A Novel (P.S.). New York: Harper Perennial, 2008. 

nl blog 2

            As I said before I really don’t like reading.  I’m still not a huge fan of it, but this novel wasn’t hard to read.  I enjoyed the writing style.  I like to write my papers and other assignments in a casual language.  She narrates the story in the same way.   Her casualness of bathroom habits and other random comments were unexpected and very witty.

            As, I read on I started to get annoyed with Clarissa.  She was very spontaneous at first, which I could handle.  I also thought that her fiancé was her brother, which made me think the book was pretty weird.  Once I realized my dumb mistake I liked the book more.  The reason I found Clarissa more annoying is that she ALWAYS complained.  She was soo whiney.  Like poor me my mother ran away.  Poor me my dad isn’t my real dad.  Poor me blah blah blah.  She was a lost soul and would attach herself to anyone she met.  She was constantly looking for a mother and father figure and then started liking that GUY towards then end.  She just seemed really pathetic to me and annoyed me.

            I really didn’t like the ending of the book.  Things all made sense at the end and really explained why Clarissa is the way she is.  Her mother was very cold towards her and didn’t even seem to care that Clarissa saw her.  That was kind of disappointing to me.  Half the book Clarissa obsessed about what it would be like to see her and then when she did it was a let down.  I thought the last part about her life after her mom went at lighting speeds.  She said a ton of info in about 2 pages.  I couldn’t believe she left her fiancé.  She is no better than her mother.  She ran away and forgot her past.  Still acting as a child.  Overall I didn’t like the ending.  I wish things had ended differently for Clarissa.

 

            I was thinking about focusing on the rape of Clarissa and her mother.  It’s an important piece of the story and a part of why both of them acted the way they did.  It was an interesting topic to me.  Once I found out she was rapped things made more sense.  It was a gap in the novel for me.  The novel was confusing at times for me because things weren’t explained very clear.  I thought her brother was inappropriately touching her, wasn’t sure if her mother and Clarissa was rapped, and there are a lot of flashbacks in the book.  The chronological order jumps back and forth.  When CLasrissa was on the TRIP and started complimenting that guy she revealed she was rapped in the story line.  It was about half way through the novel that things made sense.  I thought it was weird that her mother said in the beginning if a guy tries to rape you pee on him, but it made sense later in the book.  A lot of Clarissa’s issues were a result of the rape.

            I plan to write a normal, serious paper.  Although I don’t like seriousness rape is OBVIOUSLY not a funny topic.  I am going to research rape to get a better understanding of it.  I will look into the detrimental effects on the person once it happened.  It will help me connect the pieces of the story even more.  It might justify the reason Clarissa gets attached so easily and begging for attention.  The rape obviously had serious effects on her because she has a lot of issues and motherly issues as well.  Her mother is more like her than she actually thinks.  Direct quotes and pages will help emphasize my point.

            I feel this paper will be something different for me to write.  I have never written about such a serious and tragic topic before.  Many people are ignorant about the topic and I know research will help change things.  It will help me understand the emotional pain that rape victim’s feel.