This year I have come a long way as a writer.  I never had to write a lot of papers in high school so I wasn’t developing better writing skills.  Now I have to write multiple papers for all of my classes and although it’s a pain it really has helped my writing.  I also have been reading a lot more than I used to and my vocabulary has become wider.  I sound more professional than I did before.

            Being in your English class for a year has also helped me.  I feel more comfortable writing now than ever.  In high school the rules were so rigid and I couldn’t express my thoughts in my papers.  Now I can show my personality and opinions freely without worrying what the teacher will think.  The relaxed writing atmosphere really made a difference.  I have used a lot more figurative language in my writing this year compared to high school.  I find that my writing is more interesting when I use figurative language for example, my thick description paper for English 111.  I’ve never used so much imagery in a paper before and I really liked how the paper turned out.  When I read my paper I actually visualized everything I read.  Similes and metaphors also helped me bring my ideas together.  Using figurative language made it easier to compare things and made my overall papers flow better.

            I’ve learned a lot more in one year of college composition than I have in many years in high school.  I’ve gained new writing styles, which will help me with my writing in the future. 

       

Intertexualality is shaping other texts’ meaning by other texts.  Author’s can borrow ides of others.  The audience must have prior knowledge of song & film stars to truly understand any of the jokes.  Sampling is another form of intertexuality.  Sampling is often used by hip hop artists and other types of music.  When an artist uses parts of other songs the audience’s ability to identify the beat helps them grasper a fuller meaning of the new song. 

I decided to pick something light and funny.  I chose the song “I’m on a Boat” featuring T-Pain from a SNL parody and compare it with “I’m in a Snuggie” another parody of “I’m on a Boat” by Mikey and Big Bob.

            I chose these songs because they are so funny and they have the same beat, but different words.  “I’m in a Snuggie” references “I’m in a Snuggie”.  They are both light hearted and funny videos.  There is a lot of vulgarity in them as well, but it makes them even funnier.  I provided the clean versions.  They use a lot of dialogue that refers to various aspects in popular culture and humor.  Some of the lines are exactly the same, but they are referring to different things.

            Snuggies are the new type of blanket that covers you entire body with sleeves.  It has been a very popular product and made fun of a lot.  SNL’s entire show is based on parodies and the two of these songs both humorous pop culture videos.

 

Snuggie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glJunfawjQI

Im on a boat; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iUjx4_X1qA

 

poon⋅tang   [poon-tang]  Show IPA

–noun Slang: Vulgar.

1. sexual intercourse with a woman.

2. Offensive. a woman regarded as a sexual object.

Origin:

1925–30, Americanism; said to be <>puntuŋ vagina, though the late documentation of the E word makes such an orig. questionable; F putain prostitute, often cited as the source, accounts precisely for neither the phonetics nor the sense

spring break blog

So since we can write about “whatever the hell we want and vent” I shall.  First off  already hated the book because it is sooo long. Second I had to read 88 pages with ridiculously small print on an 8hr flight to panama.  Not fun. I find the book boring too. It’s a boring version of NL. He runs away from his problems and talks to random people.  There isn’t really a plot. Just a guy talking to different people on every page running away from his ex wife or wife.

            So after my rant I will talk about my spring break. I just got back from panama THE COUNTRY last night. Very interesting. No one spoke English and my 3.5 yrs of Spanish didn’t get me very far. I did think about what I specifically commented in class about tourism. And how you said you try to fit in. my family stuck out like a sore thumb. The native guys kept whistling at me because I clearly looked different from the girls of their country. I felt so dumb when I struggled speaking in Spanish.  It was very difficult.  The language and culture barrier was hard and made things interesting. One menu only had Spanish on it. My mom and I thought we ordered chicken and we actually ordered steak.  No one could understand us. My mom ordered a “coca-cola light” at mcdonalds and at first ordered 2 but then wanted 1.  She thought the lady understood but yet we ended up with 2.  At pio pio a nastyyyy version of kfc the lady looked at us like we were retarded. We ordered number “cuatro” and she said they were out in spanish so were order number ocho. We ended up with two number cuatros and 2 ochos. It was my birthday in panama and my mom ATTEMPTED to order me a birthday cake there.  she forgot how to say happy birthday in spanish and only remembered feliz. she then tried to get the smiley face cake but didnt know what to say so she smiled and pointed to her mouth and pretended to blow out candles. they looked at her like she was crazy. finally a woman who spoke english ordered the cake in Spanish for her. wish i would have seen this all happen. My mom said "i went through a lot of trouble to get that cake you better like it" Yea so kinda interesting. The trip was very fun and interesting. Eye opening to see how poor the people lived. But they seemed happy. Their driving was insane. Cutting people off was normal. Speeding tickets were non existent.  It was not your typical vacation but I liked it.

            I will be returning to class tues. thankfully I didn’t get abducted by creepy Panamanians and die of the drinking age of 18. Just kidding my parents were around….

Rape.  It’s not a pretty word or a pretty subject.  Some would define it as the ultimate act of savagery against women.  Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted (How often does sexual assault occur?).

Clarissa and her mother were both rape victims.  This information was not revealed until much later in the story which created a gap from me.  Her mother mentioned very early in the novel what to do if a man raped her.  “If a man tries something on you, force yourself to pee.  Use your legs—that’s where your weight is.  Gouge his eyes with your fingers.  Punch his ears with your fists.  Ruin his ability to see and hear.  And then run.” Clarissa responded, “I’ll remember that” (Vida, Vendela page 47).

I thought it was odd her mother would tell her that out of nowhere with no relevance to the plot at the time.  It never occurred to me that such a small detail in the beginning of the book was one of the major reasons why Clarissa and her mother act the way they do.  Once I read that they were raped it all made sense.  She never really made a fig deal about the whole thing and it was a really big deal. 

Clarissa was a very needy character through the entire book.  She needed to be loved.  She searched for her real father and searched for her mother.  When she met other people who cared for her she became overly attached because she wanted to be loved so bad. 

In the scene when Clarissa was raped she said, “I’m being punished,  I thought, I had said daring things, gone too far with my flattery,  Up until tonight, I had rarely given compliments.  And now I overcompensated” (Vida, Vendela pg 111).  This is a perfect example of how rape victims blame themselves.  Clarissa was never sure of herself in the first place and she wanted to be loved by someone, so she always seemed vulnerable.  She thought that she did something wrong and it was her fault that she got raped.  Many rape victims act the same way Clarissa did.  Victims sometimes feel guilty because it seems like their actions caused the assault.  Shame is what prevents many survivors from speaking about what happened to them.  This results to victims thinking they are a bad person because they were raped (Guilt & Shame - of being a rape victim).

The emotional effects of rape on a person never really go away.  It will always be a part of you.  The novel didn’t go into a lot of detail about the rape of Clarissa and her mother, but it seems as though they didn’t properly handle the situation.  Clarissa never reported the crime.  Reporting rape can help victims have closure to the situation (The Trauma of Rape).  She was always running away from something; running away from her fiancé or fleeing the United States spontaneously.  The fact that Clarissa is a rape baby is a constant reminder of the assault for her mother and Clarissa.  As if she was unwanted.  Clarissa could feel that she was unwanted by her cold and rigid mother.  Clarissa said, “I was not the only child in the world who had been born of rape.  In some cultures, the mothers were disowned by their families.  But the women didn’t disown their children.  That was the difference”(Vida, Vendela pg 204).  I can’t even imagine how someone could handle knowing their mother doesn’t care or show any emotion to her daughter.

Some victims become more dependent on friends and family or you may feel compelled to withdraw from people. It is common to have low self-esteem (How to Navigate…).  Clarissa isolated herself from the world.  She wouldn’t let Pankaj touch her after she found out about her father, but she also wanted to be loved by her parents so badly.  She also had low self-esteem.  When her rapist complimented her he said, “I like the gap between you teeth” she thought to herself “I like that he had noticed” (Vida, Vendela pg 108).  He made her feel better and became vulnerable.  She thought that giving him compliments caused the rape and it was all her fault, once again coming back to her low-self esteem and guilt.

'And when I would hear people say that you can't start over, that you cannot escape the past, I would think "You can. You must"' (Vida, Vendela).  This quote from Clarissa explains a lot about who she as a person.  She completely followed in the footsteps of her mother, avoiding and running away from reality.

The novel portrayed the different ways that rape affects a victim, their spouse, children, friends - everyone has a unique set of challenges to deal with.  I think a lot of Clarissa’s mother’s problems all come back to her rape.  Eero, Richard and Pankaj all had to deal with the pain and sorrow Clarissa and her mother felt.  The fact that both of them kept running seems to lead back to the rape and isolating themselves and running from their pain.  Clarissa did realize she was acting like her mother and not dealing with her problems.  She said to herself, “What kind of woman leaves her family to live above the Arctic Circle?  Then again: What kind of woman pretends to be asleep when her fiancé tells her he loves her” (Vida, Vendela Pg 192).

In the end Clarissa and her mother’s rape got the most of them.  They acted hopeless and cold to the world.  Clarissa despised her mother for what she did to her and Clarissa did the same thin.  They both kept running and pushing people away.

 

 

 

 

Works Cited

Driscoll, Fran. "The Trauma of Rape." California ProLife Council. 18 Feb. 2009 .

"Guilt & Shame - of being a rape victim." CRISIS POINT - Specialist Psychotherapy & Counselling Service. 17 Feb. 2009 .

"How often does sexual assault occur? | RAINN | Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network." RAINN | Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network | RAINN: The nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization.One of “America’s 100 Best Charities" —Worth magazine. 18 Feb. 2009 .

"How to Navigate the Remaining Stages of Rape Recovery (Depression, Fear, Retriggering, Despair, Sexual Dysfunction) | eHow.com." E-How. 17 Feb. 2009 .

Vida, Vendela. Let the Northern Lights Erase Your Name: A Novel (P.S.). New York: Harper Perennial, 2008. 

nl blog 2

            As I said before I really don’t like reading.  I’m still not a huge fan of it, but this novel wasn’t hard to read.  I enjoyed the writing style.  I like to write my papers and other assignments in a casual language.  She narrates the story in the same way.   Her casualness of bathroom habits and other random comments were unexpected and very witty.

            As, I read on I started to get annoyed with Clarissa.  She was very spontaneous at first, which I could handle.  I also thought that her fiancé was her brother, which made me think the book was pretty weird.  Once I realized my dumb mistake I liked the book more.  The reason I found Clarissa more annoying is that she ALWAYS complained.  She was soo whiney.  Like poor me my mother ran away.  Poor me my dad isn’t my real dad.  Poor me blah blah blah.  She was a lost soul and would attach herself to anyone she met.  She was constantly looking for a mother and father figure and then started liking that GUY towards then end.  She just seemed really pathetic to me and annoyed me.

            I really didn’t like the ending of the book.  Things all made sense at the end and really explained why Clarissa is the way she is.  Her mother was very cold towards her and didn’t even seem to care that Clarissa saw her.  That was kind of disappointing to me.  Half the book Clarissa obsessed about what it would be like to see her and then when she did it was a let down.  I thought the last part about her life after her mom went at lighting speeds.  She said a ton of info in about 2 pages.  I couldn’t believe she left her fiancé.  She is no better than her mother.  She ran away and forgot her past.  Still acting as a child.  Overall I didn’t like the ending.  I wish things had ended differently for Clarissa.

 

            I was thinking about focusing on the rape of Clarissa and her mother.  It’s an important piece of the story and a part of why both of them acted the way they did.  It was an interesting topic to me.  Once I found out she was rapped things made more sense.  It was a gap in the novel for me.  The novel was confusing at times for me because things weren’t explained very clear.  I thought her brother was inappropriately touching her, wasn’t sure if her mother and Clarissa was rapped, and there are a lot of flashbacks in the book.  The chronological order jumps back and forth.  When CLasrissa was on the TRIP and started complimenting that guy she revealed she was rapped in the story line.  It was about half way through the novel that things made sense.  I thought it was weird that her mother said in the beginning if a guy tries to rape you pee on him, but it made sense later in the book.  A lot of Clarissa’s issues were a result of the rape.

            I plan to write a normal, serious paper.  Although I don’t like seriousness rape is OBVIOUSLY not a funny topic.  I am going to research rape to get a better understanding of it.  I will look into the detrimental effects on the person once it happened.  It will help me connect the pieces of the story even more.  It might justify the reason Clarissa gets attached so easily and begging for attention.  The rape obviously had serious effects on her because she has a lot of issues and motherly issues as well.  Her mother is more like her than she actually thinks.  Direct quotes and pages will help emphasize my point.

            I feel this paper will be something different for me to write.  I have never written about such a serious and tragic topic before.  Many people are ignorant about the topic and I know research will help change things.  It will help me understand the emotional pain that rape victim’s feel.

 

NL blog

            I honestly do hate reading, but for some reason I like this book.  I really don’t know why though.  I like the style she writes in.  Her use of vulgarity made the novel s real and you could almost feel her pain as she yelled them.

            I did however get a little confused when I first started reading it.  Clarissa started the novel off in the middle of her flashback.  It kind of threw me off.  She never identified herself until later.  Then as I read on I realized what was going on.  Another thing that really confused me was I didn’t  Pankaj was her fiancé.  That REALLY threw me off.  I thought that was her retarded brother.  It grossed me out that he was bathing her and sleeping with her.  I thought it was so odd.  I didn’t find out that he was her fiancé until class on Tuesday.  That made me feel pretty dumb, but once I knew it all made sense.

            Her writing is very visual and casual.  I can follow the story pretty well now that I know who is who.  The description of the bellhop seemed so real.  I thought her comment on the bathroom was a little odd, but personal and not many people say those things.  Just little things make me laugh in the book such as, “Earwax gets out of control when a kid’s parents go through a divorce.  You know, a sign of neglect.” page 42.   The issue of neglect is sad, but the way she said it was funny to me.

            I felt like I felt her pain when she found out about her dad.  When her fiancé was bathing her it made me sad.  She was so helpless.  It was interesting to me that she picked up all her things and just left.  Her mother did it too, but it was just so quickly done.

            I like how when the novel continues she talks more about her mother.  She gave her good advice about men and explained the importance of Clarissa’s name.  It gave me more incite on her and Clarissa’s relationship.  How her mother snuck around and lied about cheating.  I found it interesting when Clarissa went to go find her and didn’t want to believe she was dead.

            The next chapter started off in the present again.  It makes things confusing when the flashbacks occur with no warning.  I did like how Clarissa went to find her father.  She went into the church and it made me interested as to what would happen next.  The way the chapter ended was great.  It’s very suspenseful because her father asks is your mother dead?

reader inventory

I’m not big on reading and I really don’t like it.  I did however find a few good books that I couldn’t put down, which is rare for me.  I mainly read in the summer when I have nothing to do often by the pool.  The only time I occasionally enjoy reading is when I read for pleasure.  I like romantic and comedy genres.  The most enjoyable reading experience for me was two summers ago.  I discovered the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series.  At first my mom just told me it was a good book and I should read it even though I hate reading.  I loved it from the start. I finished the book in less than a week.  I moved on to book number two and loved it just as much.  I eventually finished all four books in the series in record time for me.  Usually when I read I read slow and it’s a drag, but these book were different and I loved it.  After reading those books I have enjoyed a few other books, but I still need to read more in my opinion.

I have trouble comprehending textbooks and long boring books.  I can’t retain the information and often find myself drifting when I read.  Enjoyable reading is easiest for me.  There isn’t any pressure on me to retain facts and dates.  I can just relax and have a good laugh when I read for fun.  My favorite types of enjoyable books are romantic and comedy genres.  I can grasp them very easily since the subject matter is interesting to me.  When something is funny I laugh and then remember it very well.  The content of the books I like is usually very light and fun.  When I find a book I like I start to like reading more and gain more imagination, visualization, and better vocabulary. 

I hate serious and factual books.  I hated almost any book I read in high school.  They were very boring and I almost never could relate to them.  Also, when I’m forced to read something I generally will hate it.  I a usually hate the plot and subject matter and it is painful for me to read it.  I think textbooks kill me slowly.  College reading has made me hate reading even more.  I have never been more bored in my life until I started reading textbooks.  I have never read so many textbooks in my life until I got to college.  It’s like pulling teeth.  I would much rather be doing assignments than reading 60 pages of Roman history.  I zone out and don’t retain the information and I have been known to fall asleep on my book.  I think the books that were assigned to me in high school made me hate reading.

I also am big on music.  I listen to different types according to my mood.  I like upbeat music when I workout and when I’m sad I listen to mellow music.  It makes me feel better.  Text and content really affect my mood and have a huge impact on me.

I have so much trouble focusing on reading unless I like what I’m reading.  When I read I need to be in a quiet place.  I like reading in my bed the most.  In order to read in silence I’m usually alone.  I like to read mainly before bed.  It helps me unwind at the end of a busy day.  When I read a book I enjoy at night I will occasionally dream of funny parts and things I liked about the book.  It’s a enjoyable way to end the night if I like the book.

Due to the fact that I don’t read much the books I do read have a huge impact on me.  I read a comical book on religion and God and it made me appreciate my religion.  I think church is still a drag, but the humor in the book helped me gain an interest in it.  Another book I read Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs was about popular culture and incorporated comedy of past culture that I enjoyed when I was younger such as “Saved by the Bell”.  I learned more about popular culture and I enjoyed reading about it.

I have learned a lot about myself as a reader.  I know where I need to read to be able to focus.  I learned that when I read textbooks I need to highlight them to help me understand the text better.  If I find a book I like I gain a lot from it and enjoy reading.  When I do find a book I like I start a reading phase and read a lot of books at once.  In conclusion, I think my reading skills and how I feel about reading has improved, but I have a long way to go to really enjoy it.